Immortality

I’m so tired of being here
in this house
in this life
in this time
in this home
in this body
in this mind
Suppressed

by all my childish fears
fears of who?     THEM

arms twisted, names called
but always there when i fall

and if you have to leave i wish that you would just leave
LET GO
unleash me from your grasp that effaces my
past
present
and future

but your presence still lingers here
and it won’t leave me alone
let my story be told

these wounds won’t seem to heal
wounds of unforgotten moment — past
this pain is just too real
hidden among smiles so simply surpassed

you used to captivate me by your resonating light
engulfed in a radiant shine
a halo
Divine
truth unveiled, but ignorance still sublime
now i’m bound by the life you left behind

life — lie — no matter
the formal only rivals the latter

your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
innocent and childlike they were
now you’ve destroyed them in a whir of your
“maturity”

your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
now incapable of self affection
self affliction the alternate direction

these wounds won’t seem to heal
lacerations upon a heart broken prior
this pain is just too real
internal bleeding continues as i simply perspire

when you cried i’d wipe away all of your tears
withdrawn
because water gave way to weakness
when you screamed i’d fight away all of your fears
obscured
veiled
so immortality became realistic
and i’ve held your hand through all of these years
too many years to be exact
but you still see one far from intact

maybe it’s time to let go

i’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
released and washed clean of my midnight hour
drenched well beyond some April shower
but though you’re still with me
still standing there
still waiting

I’VE BEEN ALONE ALL ALONG

and that’s how you’ve left me
alone
no rosetta stone
simply bemused
exploited
no one culprit
universal victim of love’s abuse

but WAIT